Hi! I'm producing a fanfiction with my three superduperspectaluarican'tspelllicious friends
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Draco Malfoy blinked in the dimness.
"Here." said the apple.
"What? Harry? abrbrbrbr"
"Yes you inarticulate bumbling band of baboon, who else would it be?" shouted the apple. "aha, I'm just kidding, I'm actually your father. Yes. Yes I am. I am your father." The apple added.
"And i am your mother." Whispered a banana that appeared out of nowhere in particular.
"Wow, that must've been a really crazy party (with harry poterrrrr) last night, I still hallucinating wtf." Draco murmured to himself.
"No draco, you're not hallucinating." Said the Banana. "Your father and I are very disappointed in you. You should not be partying, you are far too old. And since we cannot watch over you since we are inanimate fruits, you should know better to not go out in the middle of the night going to harry potters house and having the time of your life. Although your father and I are very proud that you've finally defeated him in chess, and scrabble."
Draco stared at them in silence. "You know what, I'm done with this. Goodbye my so-called parents." He said and then slammed his head back on to the cushy goodness called the pillow lol. i dunno ahahaha k lets just write whatevr, we're failing at the siriusness toowhat we are writing angsty?? D:< why so hardcore
"No! My son! Do not leave us! Last night we received horrible news! Harry Potter has died of a ahahha, we told you not to make him laugh too much, you know he gets uncontrollably emotional then forgets to breathe and die."
"No!" Draco shrieked like the shrieking shack ahaha. "You're lying. He cannot die, not even Voldemort can kill him. Harry is a BAMF who is not affected by stupid muggle reasons of dying. "
"...You're right Draco, we were just trying to lighten up the atmosphere with a small joke." Said the apple. "Now your mother and I must go back to terrorizing first-years at Pigfarts. Enjoy your sleep." With that, the fruits disappeared in a puff of sparkly smoke, leaving Draco choking while glitter filled his dying lungs.
Then Draco fell back to his beloved pillow and squeezed his eyes shut. "What is becoming of my life. Why am I talking to apples and bananas." Suddenly the apple and the banana appeared in the room again and they slowly started morphing into unknown shapes and colours in front of Draco's eyes. Then they started taking a human form. It was Narcissa and Lucius.
"Surprise my boy! We have managed to transfigure ourselves into food and we decided to surprise you!" Then they disappeared again.
"What the hell is happening to me!?!? D:<"
"MALFOY!" Harry suddenly stepped out of a fireplace which Draco didn't know existed, covered in dust. He took long strides across the room towards the place where Draco was lying down. His expression looks like he is locked in a duel with a dinosaur that can talk while he lost his wand and he is flying hhah.
Draco lurched off the bed and flung himself at his bedside table in attempt to reach his wand. However his graceful movements were interrupted as the apple and banana from his nightmare reappeared again, right in front of him.
"Hello again, Draco."
"AAUURGGHHHHHHHGGNNNMMGG" Draco bellowed. "Why did you guys turn into fruits again?"
"It's more convenient that way, and it is rather amusing to see you go ballistic. Wouldn't you agree, Harry?"
"Yes Draco. After what happened yesterday, I would love to see your crazy side again" Harry said with a wink. Ok goodbye.
"You cannot be serious, this has got be some nightmare. Maybe i should continue my occlumency sessions with Snape."
"Of course I'm not sirius, now Malfoy you better get back to my house this instant, and finish what we started last night"
Harry and Draco were playing chess.
A young boy stepped out of the shadows and into the light. His flaxen hair was swept back, stiff to the touch. He had the most alluring skin tone that Harry and Draco had ever seen. His eyes were vibrant emeralds, glistening in the hot, deafening passion between inanimate objects and unintelligent homo sapien sapiens. On his head was a scar, but in the shape of a peni...sland. His eyebrows defied gravity, much like les poissons qui aimes la goddess Palaf.
"Ah!" Shrieked le Draco. "Pourquoi Je Parlez en francais? Je ne comprend pas que je parle. Hablas espanol, amigo? Si si chica. I want to penetrate Harry wait what?!" Draco bitchslapped himself. "I'm your Venus with a penis, une complex molecular structure~"
Harry then threw himself against the window and fell the fatal height of 3 feet. "AHHHSKLDFHIEKJHAKJSD" He screamed in agony. "My beautiful hair is ruined> D:<"
The young boy with penisland scar farted. "This number noodles in the world. You like balls. I have four. What time is it? Breakthrough time! I can not speak French Ohalala if my life depended on it. Wait. Romeo is Remus trolololo frogs are hot omg ew Harry to his little friend is hard."
"Who the feck are you? Go back to Twilight you fjorn.